January  2012

A pithy, truncated, synopsized , superfluously verbose view of Lionism

The 4th and the 11th found  an under-the-weather editor still recovering from New Jersey jet lag and an unknown medical procedure practiced only by Mayan witch doctors on enemy captives.

The 11th displayed a really dangerous blend of bar crowd fanatics: persistently evil Pip, continually courteous Kevin, and Trattus Maximus, a rare appearance by the Latin ghost of meetings past. All were toasting the evening meeting and the well-behaved herd of Lions who saw fit to show up. Is that a female in the front row? Not the Journal editor, but who is that lady Lion in black? (Mouseover the photo and tell me!)

The 18th displayed Lions Klink and moi, nursing Buds, while Lions Tony O and Jim Luttrell measured the grape judiciously. Talk was, of course, on health.

The 25th exhibited Lions Klink and Johnson in a footrace to the bar for a brewski at 11:52 am, just short of the gong. We opened our Buds to the mellifluous tones of Dane doing what he always does.

The 18th displayed Lion Chuck-Buck Rogers celebrating his first anniversary and Higgins-Diggins Lion Jackie celebrating her 58th. Lion Chuck has a way to go.

The 25th exhibited no outstanding birthdays or anniversaries, but an Embarcadero Lions guest rose to pay for a hole in one he garnered at Davis Municipal. A thoughtful Auburn host chimed in with "It's a miniature golf course." 

        Lion Dick amid Lionesses

The 4th and the 11th found an ailing editor, suffering at the hands of a Mayan medicine man who practices at the UCLA Medical Center intent on giving discomfort and pain by inserting a dangerous device into regions unknown even to modern Mayans. I should not have told him I was from USC.

The 18th displayed news of Bernie Beadles bout with pneumonia and Lion Steve Murphy used his Exempt status to mention his minor open heart surgery in December.

The 25th exhibited Lion Andy Zimmer reporting that Bernie Beadles was still in intensive care at Auburn Faith. The club sent her flowers and a card and Andy reminded all to keep her in our prayers.

The 18th displayed Lion Jersey Joe Clay touting the LEO's and their upcoming service at serving at the Meadow Vista Crab Feed on February 4th.

The 25th exhibited Lion Dennis Lloyd reporting that he was scheduled for five elementary schools for Flag Day and was still chumming the waters for more volunteers. Lions Dayne and Bob were singled out for their construction duties at St. Joseph's.Lion Ray Jay Joe Clay reminded us once again that the LEO's would be serving at the Meadow Vista Crab Feed at the Fairgrounds on February 4th.

The 4th witnessed an absent editor awash in pain and innumerable bowls and playoffs. I even had to visit the optometrist as well as my personal gynecologist.

The 11th revealed a recovering editor well on his way to Playoff madness (the Broncos beat Pittsburgh?!) and sadness (Green Bay loses to the Giants? The Niners lose on muffed and fumbled punt returns?), and East Coast smugness (the Giants and the Patriots in a replay?)
Saints v Lions	Broncos v. Steelers
Bradford, wake up!	The first play of overtime, Benny?
Giants v Green Bay	Niners v Saints
No Lambeau Leap today, Aaron...	Yes, we are back!
Ravens v Patriots	Niners v Giants
Brady, more Brady, and a kick.	Where's Ted Ginn when you need him? But 0 for 13 on 3rd down just doesn't get it.

The 18th displayed a lot of table chatter with the visiting Higgins Diggins Lions. Esconced between Betty and Jackie, I heard wondrous tales of crab feeds and LEO's. Lion Dick kept his Ophir nose in paperwork and came up for air to cheer Ophir. Lion Steve Murphy ran away with the Exempt Badge for $10 and revealed he had undergone minor open heart surgery in December. There was no joke of the day despite the Higgins Diggins Lionesses' retort that they could take anything we threw at them. No joking! Lion Ray Jay Joe Clay then updated us all on the LEO's and how they would be serving at the upcoming crab feeds. Lion Dandy Dick Anderson eats on us next week (foregoing Ophir grits) and Lion Commie Stempel was rewarded with a golf ball that he will take to the event in early June in Dayton Valley.

The 25th exhibited a full educator's table brimming with new Lions Knorp and Klink to add to the regulars Dan, Dick, Jug, Bill, Joe, and moi. Talk, or course, shifted from the four-point buck that Lion Bill Grant saw in his back yard to the agony of the Niners defeat, especially the poor punt returner who both fumbled and muffed punts that led to ten Giant points and a victory. Guests for the meeting were four Embarcado Lions, up from the city to visit and solicit votes for Erv Gon, running for second district vice governor, and his wife, Cat, and two other city slickers. Erv gave a fairly standard pitch for our support and said he would see us at the Convention in San Ramon. The Exempt Badge went to Lion Bad Billy Knorp for a mere $5.00 after Lion Dennis choked at two bucks. Lion Pat's joke caused some old dust to fall from the rafters and at the same time kept our guests awash in civility. Acting Prez Lion Jimbo Moore asked for reaction to the Wednesday meeting last week and the board will look at the possibility of scheduling one evening meeting per month. Kudos to Lion Klink for putting it together. Lion Bill Knorp remains consistently bad and eats on us next week while Dick Anderson golfs on the lower pasture.

The 11th displayed the cast of the Auburn Journal in the first-ever Wednesday evening meeting at the Tahoe Club. Thanks to Lion Larry Klink for arranging the event. As the editor was conveniently indisposed waiting out the results of Prince Imagonnahurtyu's digital surgery, he asked Lion Andy to take notes. They are as follows: baa...baaaa...baaaahh...and more baaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh...! The Journal staff was not taken with Lion Andy's sheepish rejoinder.

The 18th displayed Laurie Johnson, CEO of the Gold Country Fair, recount the "family history" of the fair and the ever-present and resounding note of cuts in the budget by the state in these economically troubling times in a slide presentaion. Laurie insisted that through it all the fairgrounds remains the "gem of Auburn" as a successful venue for community events that also supports and promotes the agricultural flavor of the foothills. The fairgrounds is owned by the state and its nine-member board is appointed by the governor. It sits on thirty-eight acres of land and spends in the millions for salaries for all of its workers. It is, of course, known as the home for the Rodeo and Fast Fridays. Jokingly, she offered that she was open to a substantial bribe for garnering the beer booth at the events.  This year, like most if not all state owned facilities, the fairgrounds, has suffered cutbacks to the tune of $248,000. Her goal is to eliminate state-mandated oversight and look to other long-term solutions for funding. Laurie closed by mentioning the membership drive for the Auburn Fair Boosters

The 25th exhibited Suzette Del Bono's expertise in the "new" technology of electric cars. Suzette reminded everyone that electric cars have been around a long time. There are cars that predate the first internal combustion engine cars. Unfortunately, they were scrapped with the discovery of oil in Pennsylvania, but have made a strong comeback in the face of finite oil reserves, especially those in countries that dislike the USA, environmental concerns, and the progressive logic of that long-term, they will benefit our transportation society more.  Suzette made it clear that she was not a "gearhead" but rather  a sports car fanatic. As a spokesperson for SMUD, Suzette had the stats that made electric cars a sensible strategy, especially the fact that 78% of the American workforce commutes twelve miles to work. 2009 marks the year when all of the auto makers geared into research on the electric car, batteries, and recharging issues that will, she assured all, be met and conquered in the near future. And the high prices for electric vehicles now will, like all technology products, come down. She characterized different classes of electronic vehicles You can read about them at

 www.smud.org/en/residential/environment/greenergy/index.htm  or

 www.tva.com/environment/technology/car_vehicles.htm

Some use both electricity and gas, others are totally electric. If she could afford it, she would be driving the all-electric Tesla at $125,000. It does 0-60 mph in five seconds. It is the culmination of a number of Silicon Valley technologists and the company is based in Palo Alto. Next year nine new models will arrive. Will you be the first on the block to drive a Leaf, a Fusion, a Volt, or even a Tesla?

Sorry, the editor was out of office, receiving hip-hop reassurance from Dr. DRE that he would still be functioning, and could not muster the mustard to attend the board meeting. Whatever was ruled upon is the new ruling!

Click on the paper and pencil above to get the minutes of the board meeting.